there will be goodbye someday.

Someday in the future, I will reach a point in my life where certain decisions must be made and that is the time for me to move on.

There are people who couldn't understand why I would spend so many years in a fandom, as a fangirl...it's okay because that's what I want and now I know what are the things that are real in my life. 

I'm not going to regret spending so many times and putting in so many efforts on the fandom(s). I believe I have matured, I believe I have learnt a lot over the years as a part of the fandom. And not forgetting to mention the great people I've met and those whom I've become good friends with. 

I have my own dreams and goals I want to reach in life. Maybe one day I'd have to make a choice between my fandom and real life, who knows.  And if there is a decision that must be made, I'd choose real life for sure. This might sound like I'm not loyal to my fandom and some might ask How could you just leave it behind like that? 

I have shouted their names, I have missed them at nights, I have learnt a lot from the fandom and I have probably annoyed people around me with my fangirl self. I have cried together with them, I have seen people leave, I have had the thought of giving up. But I stayed, until now and for the years to come.

But no matter how many times I go all asdfghjk over them, I know there will be a time when all these would stop. I know that time would come eventually, the time for me to say goodbye and move on.

It isn't about abandoning it, and it won't be something I used to like either. I'd still continue liking them and support them but in a different way. Sometimes at night, when I think of the good things and times, no matter how long I've been away from them, they still manage to plaster a smile on my face.

I imagine by that time I'd be busy with study and work, and I won't be able to split my time for both real life and fandom...but maybe at nights before going to sleep, I might accidentally come across their songs from my playlist and let those sweet memories flood my mind.

There are a lot of ways to show your support. Buying their albums or merchandises, spending hours on the internet and neglecting what is important in real life are not the only ways to show your support. You wish your idols all the best but it's very important for you to spend some time to think about how you want your life to be.

This is more like a note to myself because I know I've once wasted a lot of time and selfishly abandoned what are equally important in my life.

This is really out of order and basically words vomit, sorry, verbal diarrhea.